Jesus Crushes Me

The day I put myself aside was the day I realized my desperate need for redemption. In my independence from God, I thought I could understand Calvary from a safe, unemotional distance as if admiring art.  However, the day I dared to stand in front of His Cross, I stood trembling in the shadow of God’s massive, wave of love.  It became clear that sooner or later we all must stand on Mt. Calvary to hopefully grasp the enormity of God’s power that flowed through Christ at His weakest. Here my only offer for redemption hung lifeless on a cross, yet so did my sin. The accumulation of my rebellions now clothed My Savior with bruises, cuts, mud and spittle which He wore with a grace of compassion found in no other.  Although the horrific crucifixion for my chance at re-union with The Father happened over 2,000 years ago, it was preceded by the moment God thought of me.  Although I cannot nor would not pull Jesus off that cross, the weight of His love still crushes me. When I gratefully put myself aside for another and accept the immensity of His love to somehow commune in His blood, body and divinity, it’s as if I see myself, both promise and pity, staring up at the eyes of compassion.  Pitiful is my pride that chooses independence instead of the promising gravitation towards weakness for God’s power.  Maybe, God allows me to place a foot in the Olive Garden to remember and contemplate the cost and the obedience humanity must consider.  Yet beyond the pale of misery is unspeakable joy.  It is here that all sorrow is vanquished with the last tear that is wiped away.  Therefore, if we clothe ourselves in the Beatitudes, then we will wear the promise of peace.  A peace that overwhelms our deepest doubts and inconsolable despair.  This is the bridal fabric of God, the threads of friends and families that warm us in hope and protect us from the frigid elements of fear.  God did not give us fear – He gave us Jesus. 

My Jesus 

My Jesus truly crushes me.

Who chose a cross of misery.

His choice to set all captives free.

Yeah, Jesus truly crushes me.


Yet past the pale of tragedy,

Misery has no company.

For Christ Himself has now decreed,

“My Life is yours eternally.”


Without His Grace I am empty,

Adrift, alone, and lost at sea.

Tossed to and fro by life’s hurry,

I’m left to beg for God’s Mercy.


Love matched only by His fury,

He reaches and takes hold of me.

In the quiet of His majesty,

The Love of God now crushes me.


Eventually death will find me

To shame me undeservingly.

But then a voice will speak for me,

“This one I claim eternally.”


My Jesus truly crushes me.



© 2011 by Chris Clody 2/3/11



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