Lord, please give me the words

In a moment,
Somewhere in everlasting time,
I am ‘caught’ within the seams,
Of TRUTH infused,
And the hill I must climb.

It is a loss to me,
To reason what I cannot fathom,
My wife’s experiences,
And beyond what I can imagine.

A chasm between,
Dreams, so beautifully shared,
Yet now, my faith bound and irresolute,
Hers, on second thought,
Outside my perspective and cares.

As a man,
A species of problem solvers,
I am not doubt blind,
Still firing blank shots,
From some justified revolver.

My aim is not to kill,
But to wound culture’s sacred vanity,
Yet, somehow, I miss,
And demonized for my ‘sanity’.

I walk in shiftless sands,
Despite my known reasonings,
Ever conscious – yet somehow flawed,
No matter the conscious of reasoning.

I feel as if,
Doubleminded has enter my soul,
One for the best of our versions,
One acceptable the Spirt,
One acceptable this cultures console.

I am an island.
Fierce in my new roots,
Beckoned to be gentle,
Yet doubting the verity of my fruits.

I must lack the fruits,
You claim that can be seen,
I feel unhinged,
By the works You profess routine.

Somewhere within this tension,
Deep beyond my infantile mind,
I crave harmony,
Yet ‘miss’ to express,
Yet, ‘expressed’ as unkind.

How often have I prayed,
Just fill my mouth with words to inspire,
Still, I feel my words toss grenades.
Within this cultures everlasting fire.

I am lonely.
I am clearly weak,
Lord give me the ears,
To express your will beyond whst vanity wreaks.

I cry out to You O Lord,
I am beyond bankrupt,
To say the words You only know,
Words beyond this culture’s rust.

Help me!
Help me Father!
Infuse Your Spirit in me,
Help me express my love.
In Your honor.

This is my prayer,
To communicate Your ‘Way’,
An in inconceivable concept,
From the life I lead today.

Pray for me my friends,
Pray that I have such stamina,
To persist in the words given to me,
With compassion and ‘in anima’,
So often I pray,
The anima Christi,
So often I reflect,
My failure and misery.

I will turn to the people you sent,
More stones stacked in my altar to You,
To hopefully guide,
ME…. To broaden my view.

Bless You Lord,
Everlasting and Almighty,
Bless You Lord,
Your servant feels bankrupt,
For words to say and eyes to see.

Forever in Your debt,
Your son,
Chris Clody 8/28/21

3 thoughts on “Lord, please give me the words

  1. Beloved Brother Chris:

    Forgive me for this delayed response. Contemplating your posting, I have been praying for you, worried about what may have driven the emotional outpouring and am fearful of what may be underlying these emotions. Is there something I can do to help? Would you be willing to sit for a coffee or two? Will you accept my offer of friendship renewed? Will you believe my lapse of action over these months and years? Would you welcome a time to share and embrace? Was the email only sent to me?

    I caught a glimpse of you (I believe) at the 8:30 Mass on August 22nd and was unable to catch up to you. I have been praying and thinking about you ever since. I hope that these words are not strange but resonate in our hearts to fortify a will to reach out.

    Continue to be in Awe of Him, Peace, Tim

    • Wow! Forgive me for the overdue reply! This poem mentions you as one of my many “stones” built within my altar. This poem is my cathartic outpouring of my introspective roller-coaster rides wondering if I am doing what makes God smile. Personal issues seem to darken the veil not knowing if the words I am given to say or words I say within my selfish defense. Yes, let’s take share a coffee – I could always use your smile. Peace, I leave, Chris

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