Cancer. Is that all you got?

There is nothing like a friend who ‘gets ya’ – …and so it was also with Kevin and his God. He had every reason to reject the maelstrom cancer always brings. Yet Kevin chose to hold that cup knowing his God of opposites came with sufficient grace. That cup was bitter, like swallowing broken glass, especially when he coughed. The chemo, what he delightfully called ‘Drano’…well, yea, that sucked. Still, he allowed me, and many others in where bitterness would have closed a door. He allowed us to walk with him, to touch his cross which he embraced with the very dignity God infused into him. Personally, it was a pleasure looking up and hugging this gentle bear of a man whose laugh could be heard for miles while his sincerity found soft and humble tones shared in honest. I am grateful he is free from pain, immobility, and a prison of shallow breaths. However, I cannot control my grief, but if I learned anything from my good friend, I don’t want to control it. Despite its unpredictable waves I will allow it to go as deep as it dares knowing the longsuffering leaves a transformative pearl. Only faith can reveal the silver lining of grief. For it is through this process towards death that the veil becomes thinner. We see time and time again if the unwanted ‘gift’ or opportunity one receives with grace deeply impacts and inspires “the more” just waiting in the hearts and souls surrounding that person. We are all cups of different sizes (and whether realized or not) overflowing with abundant blessings. But like Kevin’s Savior, he realized that his cup was also to be pierced to become a channel for grace and no longer concerned for holding onto his cup of comforts.
Like many brave cancer soldiers, they not only battle this beast but also keep fear from damaging the time their friends share together. The love bound within Kevin’s relationships was something to experience. So when I say he’s the type that really ‘gets ya’ – I mean it. He was a profound listener that taught us patience and humility with quiet nods of understanding as he pressed us to prattle on. I will miss his bear hugs of friendship most. I will miss looking him in the eye and saying, “You know I love you, right?” followed by his quiet nod and, “Me too, bro, me too.”

Kevin didn’t just got lemons and made lemonade…He smiled, laughed out loud, and made a freakin’ business out of it. Not one person left the presence of Kevin thirsty.

 

You ain’t heavy, bro.
For we’re bound by New Blood,
Yoked by an understandin’
Wrestling fear into the mud.

Never were you heavy,
Even when I felt goodbye,
Even when the beast progressed,
And heard of your final sigh.

“You know I love you, right?”
And that’ll never change,
No, you ain’t heavy, bro –
‘cause love crushes what grief remains.

See you soon.
C